The Art Of Being Yourself

What does it really mean to “be yourself”? It’s a phrase we’ve been handed as advice since practically birth. Nervous before a job interview? “Just be yourself.” Worried about making friends at school? “Just be yourself.”

On the surface, it sounds simple, but in reality, it’s messy and complicated. Who exactly is “yourself”? Is it the version you curate for Instagram? The person you are with close friends? The polished professional persona at work? Or the strange, unfiltered stream of thoughts you keep private?

The problem with “just be yourself” is that it assumes you already know who that “self” fundamentally is. We’re always evolving, experimenting, learning, and, yes, sometimes pretending just to get through the day. Identity isn’t a fixed switch you can flip on command.

That’s why Caroline McHugh’s perspective stands out… she doesn’t reduce “being yourself” to a vague pep talk. Instead, she gives the phrase meaning, turning it from an empty cliché into something you can actually grasp.

And that’s the beauty of it, being yourself isn’t about having all the answers right now. It’s about learning, uncovering, and piecing together who you are a little more each day. I’ve come to realize that “being myself” doesn’t mean finding one fixed version of me and clinging to it forever. It means allowing space for growth, contradictions, and even mistakes, while trusting that each version brings me closer to understanding the whole.

That’s why I find myself returning to Caroline McHugh’s TED Talk in moments of confusion. It reframes “being yourself” not as a pressure to have it all figured out, but as an invitation to lean into who you are becoming. Every new experience, every setback, every small win adds to that picture. And the more I embrace that process, the more confident and grounded I feel.

So maybe “just be yourself” isn’t bad advice after all, as long as we see it less as a command and more as a journey.

The Art of Being Yourself, Caroline McHugh’s TED Talk